May 20, 2008
This morning I got an email from Am*zon that said:
Am*zon.com has new recommendations for you based on items you purchased or told us you own. Among these items is “A Thousand Splendid Suns” by Khaled Hosseini, “Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows” and then this: Disposable Plastic Vaginal Speculums, Medium Size 10 Per Pack
How odd. In some ways, Am*zon knows me so well.
So, in other news, it’s not looking so good for this cycle. We’ve had 2 negative HPTs and this morning Fern’s temperature took a serious fall. We’re not happy people right now, either of us. We’re not technically out yet but it’s looking like we’ll be onto try #7 soon. I don’t have much to say about this. Here are some words, you can fill in the sentences: frustrated, annoyed, lost, angry, desperate, panicky, grumpy, hopeless.
Fern was in acupuncture back in the fall and winter but stopped going after her schedule changed. We’re going to try a new fertility-focused acupuncturist that someone recommended so maybe that will help with this try. We’re also working on getting Fern onto my insurance (a whole other nightmare) so that we can get some doctorly advice. These things give me a little umph but only a little.
Proverbial icing: Someone I didn’t know too well from high school just friended me on Facebook this morning. I was checking out her profile and pictures and learned that she is married (legally), owns a beautiful old home that she just finished renovating/modernizing, and, of course, is 4 months pregnant. And she’s 3 years younger than me. For all I know she struggled for months or years to get pregnant, and has faced a million trials in her life but I prefer to be bitterly jealous and assume it came easily to her and she doesn’t deserve it. From the photos it looks so easy.
May 20, 2008 at 1:08 pm
Sometimes I think it’s rather creepy the way that the internet watches what I do and buy to make recommendations. For example, I was looking at the intinerary for a cruise my parents are taking and for a week the ads running on various sites were all from that cruise company.
That being said, Amazon recommended the speculums for me, too. I think it’s because I had purchaced lesbian conception and pregnancy books.
May 20, 2008 at 2:28 pm
I hate that jealous feeling, but I really understand it.
What a rollercoster this TTCing is. I am hoping you guys are not out from this cycle. I am happy to hear that Fern is going to go to an accupunturist. I am thinking of you both, and just wish the four of us could go out to a yummy dinner right now.
xo.
May 20, 2008 at 2:57 pm
I am totally right there with you as we gear up for cycle #5– even though insurance coverage is edging ever closer, I am still SO PISSED that we have to spend so much money in the interim. I am also so angry that there are things out there that would make it more likely for us to get pregnant in any given cycle (ultrasounds, trigger shots), but that until we have insurance, they are completely out of reach.
I wish you guys still lived in the valley– we could go out and commiserate in person!
May 20, 2008 at 4:09 pm
So sorry about the negatives…believe, I have a good understanding of what staring into try number 7 looks like, since I’m looking down the barrel of six right now. All those words you listed…me too. No need for complete sentences. We can just shorthand this.
hugs to you both