May 16, 2008
First of all, a big congratulations to J and S over at Incredible Adventures on their BFP. This is most exciting indeed. How long were you trying? I’ve only recently started reading your adventures so I don’t know how many tries it took. Here’s wishing you a healthy pregnancy!
I am becoming less and less patient with our TWW. This morning we got the bad news that Sage won’t be able to come out here for our next insemination as we’ve been planning so if this try doesn’t work, it’s back to fedex for us. I’m sad because I felt like an in-person insemination where Fern doesn’t have to travel would be the ticket. But I’m not so sure anything’s the ticket in this game.
Seeing S & J’s digital “pregnant” HPT did cause me to launch fantasies of getting a positive in our house in a few days and how I’d run to the drug store so we could have a urine-laced piece of plastic tell us in a word that we’re pregnant…and then take pictures of it. I think those pee sticks are strictly for the already-know-I’m-pregnant-and-happy-about-it crowd. I don’t think most people could use them casually and bear seeing “not pregnant” in real words. One line is bad enough. Boy do I want one, though.
I think because it’s Friday and a little slow at work it’s one of those days that I spend in baby fantasy world thinking about everything from the BFP to the baby. There are a lot of factors against us this time - sickness, travel, timing, lack of monitoring. But in the days before we start testing there’s still a world of possibility ahead. We might not be pregnant this month but we might be. I can’t help but hang onto that little bit of hope in spite of the negative factors. Reading about Stacey and Meg’s BFP (congrats to you too, by the way!) made me really happy - they were certain they weren’t pregnant and were waiting for Stacey’s period when they realized that Stacey’s temps had been high for 18 days and they tested and got a positive. I always get so discouraged after a few negative pregnancy tests, that I can hopefully focus on their story a little this time. Even when it looks bad you never know.
Speaking of Friday slacking, I do something I call calendar staring. I think this goes back to trying to create control, but almost every cycle I figure out the due date range using a due date calendar. Then I stare at the calendar with Fern’s cycle info on it. Then I manually count the weeks and end up with the same due date as the calculator (go figure). Then I count the trimesters. Then I think about what we’d be doing at each trimester (season, activity, travel) and what we’d have to do differently if Fern was pregnant. After I’ve done this I want to do it again a few days later. So with no counting left, I’ll just look and stare. I’ll think about the significance of the due dates and the conception date. I’ll think of the stories that we can tell our child about these months. It’s a lot of work, calendar staring. I should probably devote myself to my job like I devote myself to TTC.
May 16, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Thanks for the congrats! This was our 7th IUI cycle, got the lovely diagnosis of unexplained infertility after the 6th attempt was a no. And I totally, totally agree about the digital HPT…we just kept it stashed as a back up.
And I know that one day all of your fantasies of getting your BFP and having your baby will come true!!!! Because I have had those fantasies and I’ve only had disappointments until today. So your time will come.
I love the calendar thing too…so something I have done!
Fingers crossed that we will be in the 9 month wait together….that would be really, really cool.
May 16, 2008 at 4:48 pm
Aww, I can totally relate to that last sentence especially. After my IUI this morning, I went to work and cuddled with kittens, talked to a pug, and did a lot of calendar-staring of my own. Somedays I think I deserve to get fired and I plan what I would say in my defense if I were ever caught calendar-staring (and due date calculating online).
P.S. Your blog always makes me a want toast.
May 17, 2008 at 9:11 am
Calendar day dreaming is a fun but dangerous hobby. Especially now, as I approach what would have been our “first” due date, had it worked right away. But…I just keep trying to peer out into the future and assume that this day next year, this day two years from now, this day three years from now…everything will be different. xoxo
May 17, 2008 at 10:17 pm
I have to admit that I have done some of this myself, although I am more apt to daydream about telling people that we are pregnant, imagining what they will say, etc.
I think tbean is right– sometimes reminders of the passing of time can be hard, but we do have to remind ourselves that we will all get there, one way or another, in the long run.
May 18, 2008 at 5:03 am
This all rings true for me. It is amazing that I get paid for the “work” I do on fridays. I decided on this cycle that I hate the digital tests, unless I was actually pregnant. Seeing the not pregnant was painful. I think in the future that they will be the second test. I hope you do keep hanging on to the hope, because as many people told me a few days ago it is what we have got in this process. I know you and Fern are going to be pregnant (I hope this cycle)!
May 19, 2008 at 11:59 am
I’m amazed they still pay me since I spend most of every day calendar dreaming and reading blogs!
It’s a great way to pass the time, isn’t it…?!
I really hope this cycle works out for you two!!