My mom came into town over the weekend so I was offline for a few days. We had a mostly good visit. No time with my mother is stress-free, but the nagging and guilt trips were generally at a minimum and we did some major sight seeing. I had to remind myself a lot and have Fern remind me as well that my mom’s disordered relationship with food is not a commentary on me - not about me at all. Still, it’s hard to spend time with someone who is constantly beating herself up for everything she eats (which happens to be everything I eat too since we’re together). If she’s binging by eating a whole noodle dish from the Chinese restaurant then I must be too. It’s frustrating but didn’t ruin the visit. The relative peacefulness of her visit is partly due to a little heavenly place I like to call the Happy Hotel. My mom usually stays with us but this time she sprung for a lovely, nearby hotel. She could nap there and go for a couple hours while we had time to ourselves. It was just what we all needed!

The same day my mom left Fern got on a plane to donor-town. I have been feeling incredibly sad about her leaving and was especially clingy and mopey while we spent our last day together before the trip. I haven’t quite come down off my sadness from the last cycle and I hate being away from Fern for more than a day or two. So, poor me!

Today is the first of three insemination days. Fern’s going over to Sage’s house in a few minutes and they’re going to have dinner and maybe do some baking before the insemination. I’m happy they’re inseminating but I’m a bit nervous and frustrated. First of all, I hate being so far from the action. Second, we haven’t had a text book “perfect” cycle since we started. There hasn’t been one cycle when all the ovulation signs matched up, knocked on our door, told us it was time and we inseminated at the obvious right moment. Each one has been a fuzzy ‘I guess that was right’ kind of timing. Furthermore, Fern’s has had more colds and fevers than I can remember her ever having and so she’s been sick or getting over being sick during a lot of the tries (which makes temping really hard).

I was hoping this would be our perfect cycle since Fern started out with nice, low, predictable temps. But as soon as she got off the plane yesterday she got what seems to be a stomach virus and was out of commission all day yesterday. I was already worried about her cycle adjusting to the travel since last time she traveled we think it threw off ovulation. But now this? Come on, universe! Can’t a couple of girls and a donor get a break? She’s feeling a little better today so I’m crossing my fingers that all will be ok. But I’m pretty annoyed at the situation. I’m sure my annoyance is rooted in the fact that I’m in even less control than usual this cycle since I’m stuck out here at work. Alas…nothing to do but wait and see.