We’re currently in the 2 week wait of our 4th try. This morning Chickadee tested and got a negative. It’s no big surprise - it’s early to test. Unlike the last 3 TWWs, I don’t have a strong feeling this time, good or bad. The lack of feeling kind of feels like negativity in a way but really I’m just not obsessing about it like I usually do (and, yes, I usually do - birthday/sign of the future baby, dates of each trimester, when we’ll tell loved ones etc.). It just is. Or it just is right now. Chicka has no pregnancy symptoms but no unpregnancy symptoms either. Tomorrow I leave on a short work trip. Being away could make me feel more anxious. We’ll see.
In other news, I was intensely excited to get my first comment today! Thanks, Sara! Also, my hits are steadily rising from 2 yesterday to 13 so far today - yay! This is the paragraphs of exclamation points!
I’m trying to comment on all the blogs that I read and reveal myself as a lurker over the next week. It was a little slow-going today because I’m so busy at work that I haven’t had time for blog reading. But I will press on.
I’m starting! I have delayed writing my first post in Insert Metaphor for weeks and weeks and weeks before that. Sometimes I get an idea in my lil head and I ponder it so hard that it becomes fully formed and mature. It becomes so complete with details and theories and decorations that I can’t possibly go through all the steps necessary to activate it in the world outside my brain - too exhausting. I’ve been reading so many TTC (trying to conceive) and queer parent blogs for so long that I have a lot of ideas about how my new, shiny blog should look and sound. I haven’t written yet because I haven’t figured everything out yet…which is absurd. Tonight I’m telling my brain to shut up and I’m posting anyway.
Weeks ago I picked a blog name, developed the basic layout, fleshed out the “about me” section, and started the blogroll. Do you know what the major stumbling block was? What’s kept me from actually writing a post for weeks? What to call myself and my sweets and our donor…and the kitties. I don’t want to use initials because that gets confusing when there are too many parties with the same initial. I went through cute food names, cute flower names, cute random object names, cute various animal names. Some were too cute, some didn’t sound like names. Last night I ended up with Chickadee for my sweetie and Pigeon for me. Our known donor is Parakeet and our cats are mixing it up with Francine and Irma. I can’t say I love the bird names but they’ll do for now. I might change them - just a warning.
There you have my first post. I hope someone reads it one day.
